Two days ago, I have gone through a two-day intensive training on positive problem solving skill. It was tiring as discussion continue for hours without stop. After the whole session, I was not only physically tired but also mentally exhausted. Nevertheless, I was very excited and impressed with the tools and technique on problem solving solution.
So, I wanted to use this problem solving technique with my son to solve his study problem. It always our concerns over his study. Knowing him very playful but he is going to face his SPM examination by the end of the year, anxieties was started building up as time approaches and stress level gone up not only himself but we as parent too.
So, I checked with him about the recent exam result, off course not in satisfactory. Certain subjects were even in danger zone of below passing mark. it becomes alarming ....
I called a family meeting to discuss this issue, hoping this more scientific approaches can solve the problem.
Step 1 - Clarify the Problem
First, I need to identify what is the problem. Clarify problem is important, we don't want to simply guess what is the problem, it may tackle wrongly. After much deliberation (normally we can use 5W1H to help), we all agreed that the problem is "Problem having poor result in examination".
Step 2 - Facts Finding - Desire Vs Current
After we have the problem statement, second step is to do fact finding. We something assume without checking on facts. So, I was using the "comparison table of desire vs current status". Off course, after the finding, I have to face the reality, the variance of meeting expected results were too much, the gap is so wide... Hai~~~
It is like "wacking" on my head ... (as father, I was thinking my son study was okay ... but after fact finding, I then realized, is not okay at all ... or dear!!)
Step 3 - Zooming in Critical Areas
So, we move to 3rd step, to zone in the critical areas.
But how ?
So many areas affecting may cause the problem. I use the radar diagram to help me. This diagram is to help me finding critical area. There are many other tools such as flow chart analysis and so on, but I think the radar diagram use lesser time and more simplified to use in my situation.
So I divided into Effort of Study, Teacher Quality, Parent Encouragement, Leisure Time (such as handphone, games, tv etc). Actually can have more area, but for this case, 4 areas are sufficient.
First, I need to set"what is I wish ......." For example, I wish to use how much percentage of efforts in study ... my son said, 80% ..... then I asked him, how much percentage you have used to study ... he told me 20%.
(shock!!!)
Anyway, after asking repeatedly question in the 4 areas ... the radar diagram show me this:
The greatest gap differences is the critical areas .... and turn up to be his study efforts.... oh dear !!
At least I have found out the critical area.
Step 4 - Finding out the actual root cause
What is the "main killer" that cause my son efforts of study was to low ?
I decided to use the Inter-relationship diagram to help me to find the killer who cause why my son has low efforts in study. I started to give all family members 8 pieces of small paper and request everyone list down one possible cause in each paper. Afterthat, we sort out those possible causes together according to their nature. Initial, it has quiet a lot, but then we start grouping in similar form. Then we picked up the highest 6 possible causes to analysis.
1) Spent too much time in h/phone, computer & games
2) No mood to study
3) Teacher do not know how to teach
4) Parent
5) Physical Tired
6) Study environment in house
So, by looking at it, who is the real "Killer"?
Outright, from the result (highest number of paper), everyone in the family think that spending too much times in hand phone, computer and games was the killer that kill my son effort in study.
(at the time, I thought so ......)
Then I continue to use the IR Diagram to decode the results.
To do the IR diagram, I have to do relationship finding using clockwise. We have to ask ourselves, is the "handphone" and "no mood" have any connection that affect the study effort low? Everyone voice out... either yes or not, if yes, why? If no, why? If they have connection, draw a line between the two, then asked another question, which one is affecting which? Will "handphone" affect "no mood" or vice verse? Everyone has to discuss their points of view, picked the correct answer and draw an arrow to indicate who affect who. In this example, it is "no mood" that influence "handphone". It is because my son no mood in study, you will think to play more handphone/games....
Then we do another establishment of relationship between "handphone" and "teacher" ...... the list go on and on until complete the whole circle.
After our family "playing" this games, we summarized the result by establish how many IN and how many OUT for each causes. IN represent the victim and OUT represent as killer. The highest score in IN, is the worst victim and the highest score in OUT, is the Master KILLER!!!!
OH MY GOSH!!
We PARENT turn out to be responsible for my son low efforts of study!! Honestly, my wife suddenly cannot accept the fact, because she believe she has done a good job in children education .... off course I have to dis-fuss the situation a bit. Sometime, we have blind spots in life, we thought everything was okay, but maybe, we did not realize it is not as good as we think. The diagram clearly shown the killer is the Parent, we have to admit the fact we did not do good enough, then we then can open up for correction and improvement.
The analysis is good because it helps us to focus on the right cause. Form the look, blaming my son low effects of study because he has playing too much of handphone games etc may sound correct, but is it the root cause ? What cause him playing it ? Who bought all these gadgets for him? Who explore all these games in their young age ?
We, parent, isn't it ?
We are the root cause!!
Hai~~ is a "pluak" on the face
We are not putting sufficient efforts in helping our son in study... we only know how to scold him for not study, always play games lah .......... etc ...
Step 5 - Possible Solution - Evaluate Solution - Finalized Solution
Step 6 - Measurement Indicator (setting up Lead and Lag Indicator)
Step 7 - Action
We did not manage to complete step 5 to 7 due to limited time. Nevertheless, ultimately, we have recognized Parent is the main influential for our son success. We have to set our next agenda for our family meeting, i.e., is to identify solution to rectify the problem.
I am grateful for what I had learned in work and able to bring it back my home to share with my family. Many times, we are so professional when worked, but we hardly use some of those skills to help our family. I am also happy for my son take it positively. His action told me he wanted to improve further in his study. ...
I guess, tomorrow, mummy will start working with him to form his study plan.
Thank God!! Praise Him! Is never too late to take action now.
