Reality of Fact

Two days ago, I have gone through a two-day intensive training on positive problem solving skill. It was tiring as discussion continue for hours without stop. After the whole session, I was not only physically tired but also mentally exhausted. Nevertheless, I was very excited and impressed with the tools and technique on problem solving solution.

So, I wanted to use this problem solving technique with my son to solve his study problem. It always our concerns over his study. Knowing him very playful but he is going to face his SPM examination by the end of the year, anxieties was started building up as time approaches and stress level gone up not only himself but we as parent too. 

So, I checked with him about the recent exam result, off course not in satisfactory. Certain subjects were even in danger zone of below passing mark. it becomes alarming ....

I called a family meeting to discuss this issue, hoping this more scientific approaches can solve the problem.

Step 1 - Clarify the Problem

First, I need to identify what is the problem. Clarify problem is important, we don't want to simply guess what is the problem, it may tackle wrongly. After much deliberation (normally we can use 5W1H to help), we all agreed that the problem is "Problem having poor result in examination".

Step 2 - Facts Finding - Desire Vs Current

After we have the problem statement, second step is to do fact finding. We something assume without checking on facts. So, I was using the "comparison table of desire vs current status". Off course, after the finding, I have to face the reality, the variance of meeting expected results were too much, the gap is so wide... Hai~~~ 

It is like "wacking" on my head ... (as father, I was thinking my son study was okay ... but after fact finding, I then realized, is not okay at all ... or dear!!)

 

Step 3 - Zooming in Critical Areas

So, we move to 3rd step, to zone in the critical areas. 

But how ? 

So many areas affecting may cause the problem. I use the radar diagram to help me. This diagram is to help me finding critical area. There are many other tools such as flow chart analysis and so on, but I think the radar diagram use lesser time and more simplified to use in my situation.

So I divided into Effort of Study, Teacher Quality, Parent Encouragement, Leisure Time (such as handphone, games, tv etc). Actually can have more area, but for this case, 4 areas are sufficient.

First, I need to set"what is I wish ......." For example, I wish to use how much percentage of efforts in study ... my son said, 80% ..... then I asked him, how much percentage you have used to study ... he told me 20%.

(shock!!!)

Anyway, after asking repeatedly question in the 4 areas ... the radar diagram show me this:

The greatest gap differences is the critical areas .... and turn up to be his study efforts.... oh dear !!

At least I have found out the critical area.

Step 4 - Finding out the actual root cause 

What is the "main killer" that cause my son efforts of study was to low ?

I decided to use the Inter-relationship diagram to help me to find the killer who cause why my son has low efforts in study. I started to give all family members 8 pieces of small paper and request everyone list down one possible cause in each paper. Afterthat, we sort out those possible causes together according to their nature. Initial, it has quiet a lot, but then we start grouping in similar form. Then we picked up the highest 6 possible causes to analysis.

1) Spent too much time in h/phone, computer & games

2) No mood to study

3) Teacher do not know how to teach

4) Parent

5) Physical Tired

6) Study environment in house

So, by looking at it, who is the real "Killer"?

Outright, from the result (highest number of paper), everyone in the family think that spending too much times in hand phone, computer and games was the killer that kill my son effort in study. 

(at the time, I thought so ......)

Then I continue to use the IR Diagram to decode the results.

To do the IR diagram, I have to do relationship finding using clockwise. We have to ask ourselves, is the "handphone" and "no mood" have any connection that affect the study effort low? Everyone voice out... either yes or not, if yes, why? If no, why? If they have connection, draw a line between the two, then asked another question, which one is affecting which? Will "handphone" affect  "no mood" or vice verse? Everyone has to discuss their points of view, picked the correct answer and draw an arrow to indicate who affect who. In this example, it is "no mood" that influence "handphone". It is  because my son no mood in study, you will think to play more handphone/games....

Then we do another establishment of relationship between "handphone" and "teacher" ...... the list go on and on until complete the whole circle.

After our family "playing" this games, we summarized the result by establish how many IN and how many OUT for each causes. IN represent the victim and OUT represent as killer. The highest score in IN, is the worst victim and the highest score in OUT, is the Master KILLER!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!

We PARENT turn out to be responsible for my son low efforts of study!! Honestly, my wife suddenly cannot accept the fact, because she believe she has done a good job in children education .... off course I have to dis-fuss the situation a bit. Sometime, we have blind spots in life, we thought everything was okay, but maybe, we did not realize it is not as good as we think. The diagram clearly shown the killer is the Parent, we have to admit the fact we did not do good enough, then we then can open up for correction and improvement.

The analysis is good because it helps us to focus on the right cause. Form the look, blaming my son low effects of study because he has playing too much of handphone games etc may sound correct, but is it the root cause ? What cause him playing it ? Who bought all these gadgets for him? Who explore all these games in their young age ? 

We, parent, isn't it ?

We are the root cause!!

Hai~~ is a "pluak" on the face

We are not putting sufficient efforts in helping our son in study... we only know how to scold him for not study, always play games lah .......... etc ...

Step 5 - Possible Solution - Evaluate Solution - Finalized Solution

Step 6 - Measurement Indicator (setting up Lead and Lag Indicator)

Step 7 - Action

We did not manage to complete step 5 to 7 due to limited time. Nevertheless, ultimately, we have recognized Parent is the main influential for our son success. We have to set our next agenda for our family meeting, i.e., is to identify solution to rectify the problem.

I am grateful for what I had learned in work and able to bring it back my home to share with my family. Many times, we are so professional when worked, but we hardly use some of those skills to help our family. I am also happy for my son take it positively. His action told me he wanted to improve further in his study. ... 

I guess, tomorrow, mummy will start working with him to form his study plan.

Thank God!! Praise Him! Is never too late to take action now.   

Oh, My Blog

It was a long times I did't touch you. I think you miss me, right ? I am sorry that I neglected you. In beginning of the year, I didn't even spend time on you, until today, I only wrote one blog post, I guess I am too engross with many new toys. First, i got my beloved ipad, then, i got another new toy - Sansung Galaxy Note. 

Don't worry, not only you, you are not alone, I also neglected my beloved EPL2 camera which now lay aside to collect dust.

Well, these new toys are so cool, they are like time-suck vacuum cleaner and they took my attention from you. I am so sorry.

My dear blog, please bear with me, I promise to update you more often in future. 

hehehehe...

However, for time being, let me have some extra times to play with my new love first- the Galaxy Note... Please don't be jealous as it is still new in the family... I need to get familiar with it, if possible, I want to test the Note on the function of uploading blog, if I am successful, I believe both of you can be good friends. Each can accompany one another....

So, my dear blog, you just need to be patience.

A Day Trip to Kuala Selangor

For me, if I think of Bah Ku Teh, I think of Klang.

If I think of Seafood, Kuala Selangor is one of my favorite choice. Especially the Butter Sauce Crab, it is very delicious and the sauce is creamy and tasty. I always craving for it. So I decided to bring my family to go for a day trip at Kuala Selangor (on 7 Nov 2011). After all, my secret agenda is to have Shutter De-stress Therapy. I have not taking photo for many weeks, now itchy hand .... 

There are a few seafood restaurants at Kuala Selangor, which is located at the river bank. Many years ago, it is just a fishing village, majority fisherman built their houses along the river bank ... slowly, it turned in to a small town. Some business minder person started to open restaurants, they built a wooden platform from the river bank extend out to the river. Thus, it is quite unique for having meals on top of the river. We can have our food while over seeing the beautiful scenery of the river and seeing fishing boats traveling pass the restaurant.

View from the Restaurant

Able to view a few more restaurants from far.

 
We have ordered a few dishes but I never forget to order my favorite butter sauce crab, if it eat together with the fry bread, is truly Yummy !!

Beside the crab dish, we off course won't miss the fish, prawn ....etc.

 It was a satisfied lunch for my family :) ... The only problem is weather too hot >

After lunch, the best place to visit is the market place, many stores are opened nearby the restaurant. It is so convenient and just walking distance. One of my family favorite is their homemade Kelopoh, crispy and tastey ...

The market is my favorite place, while my family was busily buying stuffs ... I took a quick walks around to capture some street photo ... off course the storekeepers are my "target" .. Wakakaka..

This little girl is so cute but she already started helping her family doing business at a young age. Now she is the Si Tao Mui (It means little boss)

This is another young helper, her smile is fastastic

I notice some of the store owners are getting younger, I guess aunty and uncle need some rest :) This girl is very pretty and capable ... business women, no joke!!

Beside eat, eat, eat .... what can you do in Kuala Selangor? I guess you can visit the Bukit Melawati. There is a train ride at the foot hill, they only charge RM3.00 per  person to bring you up ... At the top of the hill, you can visit the historical museum of Kuala Selangor, a lighthouse, cultural village. However, I found not much to see up there. Therefore, we up and down in a short while ... Some blogers highlighted there are many Silverleaf Monkey, maybe I went up too early, those monkeys are still sleeping ... ho ho ho!!

By the way, I so proud of myself ... Wakakakaka, if you get what I mean :)

The train service also brought us to a nearby river water aquarium, not so attractive, but I manage to capture some nice fish shots ...

Overall, the trip is tired, the places of attraction in Kuala Selangor are not interesting but the seafood there is great. For my next trip, I should just go for a seafood dinner, but will go slightly earlier to take the opportunity to capture the sunset ... hopefully ...

Maybe next time - lah .....

The End.

Wonderful moments in life.

It has been a long while for not updating my blog. I felt sorry for it as if like a bad mother who gave birth of a baby and leave the baby without proper care .... Isn't I am like that now being overlook my beloved blog? Haha...

I am running out of idea what to write because I am busy with my new job. Being in senior management team, it is not just a nine to five job, extra efforts are required to put in. It is not just follow a simple job description but responsible to think of new ideas to increase business in the organization. In addition.... Need to spend time on system and manpower issues so that the company is running efficiently. The list can go on and on....

Therefore, It is simply NO TIME to blog .....

Ding, Ding, Ding ..... Stop thinking NO TIME !!!

Life is like that, the more you said no time, the more you find no time. I always joke with my friends, never say you have no time, because only dead people no time, as long as you are alive, you have time. It is matter of priority, maybe sometime we had too engrossed into something whereby your time has dedicated too much to a particular areas and regretted many wonderful things in life.

It is good to pause your life for a while to look at some beautiful things in life....

Recently, I brought my younger son for a swim and it was a wonderful moment to see my kid enjoying the cold dip in the pool. I took the opportunity to capture some wonderful moments using my camera. Children grow up very quickly, just a blink of eyes, they will all grow up. Don't miss this golden opportunity to spend time with them.

Thank to my Olympus PEN EPL2, at least I have captured those images....

One day when they all grow up ...... And I become an old man, those photos that I took, will be my great companions in life.

Never miss those wonderful things in life... Especially with your kids. Please pause and look around :)

Happy Mother's Day

Hi, wishing all Mothers a Happy Mother's Day!!

I just passed the 46^th Mother's Day without a mother, it was a strange feeling. It never occurred to me what so big deal about this day until I lost her. For the passed 45 years, I enjoy Mother's Day with my beloved mum but I could not recall any special things that I had done for her on these days. Most likely, we went out for a normal family dinner or bought her some small gifts. Since my mum birthday was on May 5 which is near to the Mother's day, we used to celebrate the two occasions together.

Nothing special? Yes, I can't recall anything that is special …. Why ?

Emmmm……………

I guess human being is like that, when we really lost somebody that is very dear to us, and then, we will start regretting for not doing enough or not doing something more special for her, or something that are more substance for that person.

Time that passed will never return!!

If time can be returned (How I wish …), I asked myself, how am I going to celebrate this Mother's Day with her?

I think I will bring my mum and my whole family to a photography studio. I will dress her beautifully like a bride; we will take many many many family photos with her. She will be the star of the day shines wonderfully …. I am going to ….. then ….

But ….no more star, no more bride …. no more mother…. the imagination slowly faked into the darkness …

because I don't have this opportunity any more …..

I am glad that my Mum is with the Lord, Jesus Christ. At least I know where she is now. I truly missed her and I believe if I continue to stay with the Lord, one fine day, I will have the opportunity to see her again…..

Mum, I missed you and Happy Mother's Day.

My Mother - My Love.

Today is 13th day of January 2011. Time flies and will not reverse anymore, no matter how hard you try! My last blog post was in Christmas and then everything seem to be THE END for me. I don't feel like writing a single word. Although deep inside me keep telling me to write something, .... take action and don't just thinking about it.... But the other me keep telling me not to do so, why boarder to write, anyway, nobody will read my blog!!!

From the time of Christmas until now, an event had happen, that cause me great pain and sadness.....even until now, my heart still mourn and grieve. I lost someone special - my Mum. She rested in peace with the Lord, she leave us on 30 December 2010, one day before the end of 2010. For a Christian, we have HOPE, bible clearly tells us that she has gone back to the Lord, she just asleep and one day, when Jesus comes back, all who have asleep will be called and wake up and meet Him in the heaven. I believe one day I will meet her again in heaven. That the promise of God for those who believe in Jesus and accept Jesus in his/her life.

But some how, pain remained there.... Although I no longer cry but tears remained in the heart because I really miss her tremendously. Especially at night when no one around ....

Anyway, life goes on .... if your mum is still with you, don't take for granted, love her as much as possible while you can.

Can I have a second chance?