Men's Camp - A Men Encounter Weekend

When some people saw this name - MEN's CAMP will immediately thought of something bad that related to sex thingi! Well it is quit true if you search in Google. But you are totally wrong to have this perception. In fact, you will surprise to know my wife has been forcing me for years to join the MEN's camp. She believe after I joined I will be a better husband or better father.

Well... is it true ?

And now, finally I am here in the SIBKL MEN's camp. It is a camp organised by the church solely for men. It is Men's Encounter Weekend. A place that men re-connect back with the mighty God and we are here to re-focus back on becoming an authentic man, authentic husband and an authentic father.

It is not easy to become a good father or a good husband. By just bringing money to the family's table is not sufficient. Many broken families started when man of the house chasing after materialist gain but neglected family bonding. Thus, we should spend more time with our family.

We macho man may looked strong outside but many times are weak inside. Especially when we face temptation of the world, many will fall for it and cause marriage failure. The camp hopes that we men can gather together to share our life story, to encourage each others. We are human being and for sure, we will face many up and down, difficulties in our work life, family life and even personal life. So, it is important to have a male buddy to help one and another, when one face life issues, at least we know someone to turn to. Off course, the fundamental of men relationship is based on trust and we are committed to keep it within the group.  

I am glad that Pastor Chris from DUMC is leading the men's camp. It is truly an awesome time with him. With his sharing and encouragement, I have learned so much from him. He is a Godly man that show us how to live as an authentic husband and father in his family. I believe he has inspired many of us.  

First night, Pastor Chris shared some tips for being a good father. He suggested we men should show our love by saying out. We're too shy of saying "I love You", especially in Chinese family, we don't do that. Our parent also never say it to us, it is something that "you know lah". Henceforth, we are embarrassing to say it to our wife and kids. Similarly the hugging culture, for us we don't feel comfortable. We don't have such habit. But somehow, I do believe it is importance. Both wife and kids are important part of our life, we men should be leading by example. Telling our wife and kids we love them and hug them ..... I believe family bonding will be improved by doing so.

Similarly we should do it to our parent too, I do remember the time when I hug my mum, I believe she enjoy my hug, but I regretted of doing not enough for her. But now, she rested in peace, I do not have any chance to do it.

Pastor encouraged us as father must always give positive affirmation to our kids. We should not be a "dis-charger" but rather be a "charger", our kids need our encouragement, they will excel in life if positive affirmation is given to them in their early life, these are some words that Pastor encouraged us to say to our kids:-

• I love you
• I am proud of you
• you are good in what you do

In camp, we watched a movie - The Courageous. It talked about life of 4 police officers and their families. It was an awesome movie that I do encourage you to watch. This movie has inspire me in many ways ...

• It is not okay to be a "just Okay Father"
• We must spend time with our kids, they will grow up, if you lost the Golden Time with them, it may be too late.
• God will provide no matter how difficult the situation is
• Dignity is important, no matter how bad is the situation, don't cheat. God will be pleased of what you do.

The movie demonstrated the right way to become a good father. I truly enjoy it. Like what Pastor Chris said, we men must spend time with our kids one to one in private session, no matter how busy we are. The kids will treasure the time with you. You no longer just their father, you can be their friends too.

A successful men always has a successful women in life. When men talked about their wives, we always laugh it out but inside, sometime full of unhappiness.... I guess this is  苦中作乐. I am glad that some brothers have shared their life stories to us and encourage us. They have talked about their relationship with their spouse and how they overcome critical issues in life. They are so encouraging.

By the way, Pastor said, we men should always give compliment to our wife about their beauty ... and always remember for the wedding dinner. No doubt it is small matter in the eye of men, but it is "huge" in the eyes of wives.

hahahaha ....

Last but not least, Pastor shared about "intentional living". Have you wonder how people said when you die ? What will they say about you ? He advise us to write what will people said in our funeral ? What will my wife say about me ? What will my kids say about me ? Intentional living is to draft out what you expect them to say. If we want them to say you are a kind person, then we better live up to the expectation of a kind person. If we want wife say we are a lovely and responsible husband, then we must live up to the expectation. If we want our kids to honor us as a good father, a role model, then, we must live up to their expectation. It is not easy. It is Intentional living.  

Pastor Chris said something impacted me, he said "The Future is Now"

Yes ... the future is now, what you want in the future, is what you do now.

I am glad that I have enroll in this 3 days 1 night men's camp, I am not only learned so much but I am very encouraging. Now, I have a group of men that can support one another. Just a short 3 days 2 nights, God has changed my perspective in life.

Thank you father God. Amen.